What Not To Say To Your Newly Engaged Friend

Your friend just revealed the big news! For sure, you're going to want all the details and to chat about this experience. This should be a reason to celebrate, not to be judgmental and ostracize your friend for their life choices. Despite your joy over your friend's engagement, you might occasionally say something that you later wish you hadn't said because you were coming from a place of jealousy.

To make sure you won't unintentionally hurt your friend's feelings, here are things you shouldn't say:

"Who's paying for the wedding?"

Conversations about finances are always uncomfortable and awkward. You don't know their financial situation, and if you're not a family member, then it's none of your business. It's better to avoid this topic.

"When’s the wedding?"

Relax, they just got engaged. Planning a wedding takes a long time, and your friend is still reeling and processing the engagement. As wonderful as it is to become newly engaged, it can also be stressful to realize how much planning is now needed. Save your friend the wedding stress by letting them bring it up on their own time.

"When I got engaged…"

This isn't your time to shine. We know you think sharing your experience is helpful, but if they don't ask you first, don't bring it up. Your friend will only get this moment once, so don't overshadow it.

"Are you sure about this?"

It's too late to express your concern about your friend's love life. You shouldn't be questioning your friend's decisions and actions right now. Don't cast doubt in your friend's mind by asking questions, even if you are concerned. Unless you're certain your friend is being abused, it's best to trust their ability to make life decisions. Trust is a big part of being a friend.

We're here to support our newly engaged friends in their (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime experience of getting married. Be kind and encouraging rather than letting off-handed, sarcastic remarks ruin the conversation— or worse, your friendship.