Five Questions To Ask Before Marriage

Marriage is sacred. We want to make sure this person we're saying "I do" to is someone we want for the rest of our life. It's a big decision to make, which is why you need to pose some difficult questions to one another at some point of your dating and engaged life.

Ask and discuss even if it's tough and uncomfortable. Make sure your future spouse is ready and willing to put in the work to make your marriage last. Here are five questions to talk through with your partner:  

How much alone time do you need?

Your partner can be an introvert who needs time to recharge by themselves. If you're the type of person who is the opposite, it might be difficult to grasp. But understand that you have the opportunity to access your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences when you take some time for yourself. Ask this question to set your expectations when it comes to time spent together.

How did your parents show their love to you growing up?

Every relationship we have reflects the distinct ways we prefer to give and receive love. Ask your soon-to-be spouse what their parents' love languages were. This can explain how they, personally, prefer to give and receive love.

Do you expect or want me to change in certain aspects of my life?

These could mean many things. Is your partner expecting you to move in with you? Do they want you to quit your job and focus on housework? Discuss the changes that could possibly happen when you get married.

Do you prefer to fight in conflicts or run away from them?

Maybe you're already familiar with the fight, flight, or freeze response. This time, discuss how you both respond to stressful emotional situations. Do they stay present and engaged in times of conflict?

What role will your family have in our shared life?

When building a new family, it's important to set boundaries with your in-laws. Things can become difficult if you and your partner's family don't see eye to eye. But how will your partner prioritize you and your relationship? How much time do they need to spend with their family? Ask these questions so you can set your expectations.

You can make sure you enter married life with a strong foundation by having discussions about these important issues before getting married and making sure your needs, wants, and expectations all line up. When you've got these tough discussions figured out, you'll surely thrive in your marriage. You can even come back to these questions again to check in with your partner if their answers may have evolved.

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